Five Things

Another Chance to Un-God Myself

There are all kinds of conflicts, and they’re not all mine to solve. Who knew?!

Five of Wands, Photo by Me

Five Things is a weekly essay of five short thoughts inspired by my own life and observances now that I’ve moved back home to Indiana after years of living in New York.

One.

I’m a hard sleeper, but that hasn’t always been true. For most of my childhood, I struggled to sleep. For various reasons, I either laid awake in the dark, or woke intermittently through the night. I had to search for and practice experiencing the kind of rest that actually restores you, instead of the kind born from psychic exhaustion. The kind that forces your eyes closed after a fight. I suspect a lot of people must learn to do the same over the course of their lives, if the lesson didn’t come to them by way of direct guidance or structure. There are so many things we don’t know we have to learn. So many ways we assume we ought to be without ever having the chance to try and fail and try again. Those lessons come down on you like a hammer, if you never get gentle correction. Sometimes, you’re the one holding the hammer. But even that is only because someone taught you how to swing and hit.