Five Things

I Will Not Buy the Library

I only want to be where I’m wanted

Ashley C. Ford
8 min readDec 6, 2020


Photo taken by me from my hotel in Miami

Five Things is a weekly essay of five short thoughts inspired by my own life and observances now that I’ve moved back home to Indiana after years of living in New York.


Naming what I want, and actually following through, feels like I’ve gotten away with something. It’s fascinating how attempts at centering myself feel like stealing. I’m still getting used to getting my way sometimes, for asking for what I want and unburdening myself from what I don’t. I have all of this creative freedom right now. I don’t write in any one publication, for any one editor, or maintain an exclusive working relationship with any one company.

Honestly, I wish that wasn’t the case. Even though I very much like, and work hard to maintain the way my life currently operates, I wish there was a place where I could stand still. I would love to build those consistent professional relationships, my writing could truly benefit from such a thing, and there’s so much I want to do aside from writing.

I want to make more podcasts. I want to work on documentaries and with video again. There are so many things I want to try or learn to do better where a professional learning environment could really take my shit to the next…