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Five Things
The Story of Home is Just Another Story
…belonging is another one.
Five Things is a weekly essay of five short thoughts inspired by my own life and observances now that I’ve moved back home to Indiana after years of living in New York.
One.
Earlier today I tweeted that every version of me I’ve been so far would be proud of who I am now. This occurred to me yesterday, after Kel left for a hunting trip, and I found myself pattering around the house, doing small chores, and letting my mind run wild in the silence. Rather than my usual joy-stealing habit of constantly reciting a list of to-dos to myself, for the first time in a long time, my thoughts allowed me to internally gloat about what I’d already done.
My accomplishments are difficult for me to remember to share and celebrate. Despite being Very Online, I am always worried that when I take the time to say a kind thing about myself or something I’ve done, some old crone with a long finger is going to jump out of the shadows, pointing, and mocking me, “Look at her, Please! Everybody! All Eyes on Ashley C. Ford! She obviously needs you to look at her do another stupid thing.”
I hate that mystical mocking crone, but I know why she speaks to me that way. I know why she thinks she’s helping, and so I…
